today, i looked myself in the eye and
asked "is this even worth it?"
should i keep holding my breath and wait
for it all to drop? should i keep my mouth shut? because some good that seems
to be doing.
eventually you have to realize that
people don't talk to same way you do. they don't think, feel, cope, understand
in the same depths. perhaps he meant well. and maybe he would return, somewhere
farther down the line. but i couldn't hope forever, could i?
i couldn't keep convincing my body that
it should wait for a promise that may never come. i needed to move on, to
continue with life and know that for one single month i knew what happiness
was. and that that was all about to end. i needed to inhale the pain sharply and
know that exhaling may feel like daggers until i was myself again. alone again.
disconnected from that part of the human experience
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