I miss what was supposed to happen yesterday.

Don’t wait until it’s too late,
To tell someone how much you love,
How much you care.
Because when they’re gone,
No matter how loud you shout and cry,
They won’t hear you anymore.

 I don’t know where I have to start write this stupid things. Just, I’m in a very bad feeling. I’m sorry for all the bad things that I ever did. I swear I really didn’t mean it.

Actually, I miss you guys. SO DAMN FREAKIN MISSES YOU. But I don’t know, half of my body just doesn’t wanna feel it. It’s really confusing. I don’t know how to tell you two. I’m not ready yet. I don’t like a farewell. HATE IT! And I’m not ready when someday you left me and than slowly forget me. This is crazy.

Let me tell you something. Those 2 years was really amazing. Feels like you are the best thing I ever had. But I was so blinding that I never see the truth. You said that I’m your best friend and we were doing the happiest friend-ship. HAHAHA I guess friend-shit sounds better. Okay, I’m a hypocritical. I gave everything I can. Energy, time, money, love, affection, kindness and everything! I already gave it to you guys. But seem that you never appreciate it. So sad huh ?

Did you remember when I was in an accident? MY LEG ALMOST BROKE INTO PIECES. I ALMOST DIE BECAUSE OF THAT SHOCKING ACCIDENT.

DID YOU KNOW?

I’m so grateful that my leg was okay and I’m not dead. That time, I imagined that you came and bring me something and gave me some supported sentence. Yes, the accident happened because of my fault. And so lucky that I’m not guarantied in the hospital. And I’m very very understood that you guys freakin busy with bimbel things. But HEY, I’m in the house, feel the pain ALONE. Don’t you guys want to visit me? Or just see my broken leg? I was immensely disappointed. WHY? hey, I always spend my time just for you, but then, you didn’t spend little time for me. WHAT KIND OF FRIEND-SHIP IS THAT? Yes, it called FRIEND-SHIT!  You know, from that moment, I recognized 1 thing;’ you are not my best friend’. This is really sad reality. I do know it before but I keep positive thinking. I always said to my self that “okay, come on hest, keep positive. You have to accept them. You have to appreciate. Keep their feeling and not to hurt them.” That word was stuck on my mind. Such a powerful words. But then, I understand something. A good friend is someone who always on your side no matter happens. There always 2 sides. You know, someone give and someone take. But when you always gave and no take part, I bet the relation is not working. But, it’s okay. I don’t mind. I’m really fine right now. As you can see I’m slowly gone.

Now, you are busy with your life. And where am I? HELL.

Actually, I’m okay. Even you did bad things, I still accept you for who you are. I don’t know. I really want to text you first, but I’m pretty tired. Why? Because, even I text you 1000 times, it would be the same. Useless huh?

I remember that time. After a very long time, No text, no call, no fb, no tweet. NO COMMUNICATION. Then God unites us in some gathering. I REALLY HATED THAT PART.

After long time, we have no communication, all you said just “ HEY, WHERE IS MY SHIRT?” OH MY GODNESS!

All you can say just WHERE-THE-HECK-IS-MY-FUCKIN’-SHIRT?

-_________-

I WAS SO UNBEARABLE SHOCK. FOR GOD’s SAKE. Instead of asking ‘hey, how you doin’? miss me?”

Okay, it showed clearly that our friend-ship really sucks. No balances.

Sometimes I wondering “hey guys, actually how did you feel when you are around me ? were you happy because I always give my maximum affection to you or you just trick me and lie behind me ? did I important to you ? “

who would have thought it would end up like this ?

And now, we are doing an invisible farewell. Slow but sure. Maybe you already find another that better than me. Yes, I just thinking, it’s impossible that you guys spend your whole life just with me-this unimportant role. I wish you never forget me. I wish you happiness, success and everything. I really hate GOODBYE. I want to say goodbye but it’s so hard for me. Because another part of my body, just don’t want to let you go. I’m officially quit. I’m quit for everything. Love and affection. Maybe outside, there will be someone who need it more than you. I’ll keep it. And someday, we will meet again. In another occasion and another time with a brand new soul. I just wish it comes quickly. SEE YOU SOON. I’m gonna miss you all

P.s if you read this, just want you know that I’m waiting for text and call. Thanks xoxo